Over a game of cribbage and a glass or two of wine, my daughter told me some of her past on-line dating stories. I recommended she and her book club of millennial women read the fun, relatable book Mr. Right Swipe by Ricki Schultz about on-line dating (amongst other things). Here’s why:
One guy (let’s call him Mr. Delusional) said on his profile he was six-foot tall, (My daughter had an over six-foot rule since she began dating in high school) but when he arrived he apparently had last been measured with four inch heels on. That wasn’t even the real problem. His white shoes and matching white belt were the problem and when he ordered a Pina Colada, (cue song here) there were definitely going to be bigger problems.
“He’s definitely not riding all the rides, if you know what I mean.”- Mr. Right Swipe by Ricki Schultz
Mr. Get-Real with slicked back hair, perfectly coiffed eyebrows and a new Mercedes-Benz E class Cabriolet in the parking lot insisted he show off his new car to my daughter. When they returned to the bar they’d lost their bar stools. While they waited for more to become available, they leaned against the window bar- him drinking scotch and she afraid to drink anything- he showed her his bank statement! Real winner there!
“I’m not at a place in my life where I feel like competing with some dude’s watch collection.”- Mr. Right Swipe by Ricki Schultz
Mr. GQ was actually a lot of fun, great to look at and shared a fine bottle of wine of my daughters choice. Such a gentleman. Other than the fact that he was distracted by every male who walked by, and seemed to have posed for a few of them, he kept her entertained until she remembered she hadn’t let her dogs out.
“…and I certainly don’t need some guy who’s prettier than I am…” – Mr. Right Swipe by Ricki Schultz
After a few of those guys she decided to meet new “matches” for coffee before work in the café at the base of her office building. She actually met a couple of nice, professional men that way. But, guess what… they had absolutely no other time to meet, at all, ever. Hmmm…
“It was just coffee,” he says, talking with his hands. “And anyway--” Mr. Right Swipe by Ricki Schultz
I am beginning to see a pattern here… and I am grateful I’ve never been in that arena!
“How are there this many single guys around and how are they all so disappointing?” – Mr. Right Swipe by Ricki Schultz
Read the book, sip your favorite wine and have fun!
Click on the book cover below to learn more about Ricki Schultz.
My husband Michael and I love travel and adventure. That’s why this year we will be selling our home, and–as much as possible–everything in it, and moving into an RV fulltime. (YES!!)
We’re very excited about this new life we’re about to embark on, and I have already selected the plastic, stemless wine glasses we’ll need to take with us. Sadly, Michael’s mom’s tissue-thin crystal wine glasses will have to go into storage.
At least what’s left of them. Before she went to join her late husband of more than 70 years, Stanley, Ethel gave the glasses to me, the family’s major wine drinker. When we began to run short on our own wine glasses, I unpacked them from their cardboard tomato transport box and newspaper wrappings reluctantly, knowing what was likely to happen to them.
I may not have much in the way of talent, but I do have two well-developed skills: 1) cutting my fingers with knives, and 2), breaking wine glasses. Okay, three: I also am very good at spilling red wine on light colored furniture. Well, wait, four: getting wine stains out of light colored furniture.
As you might now imagine, I was SO HAPPY when it was not me who broke the very first of Mom’s wine glasses! My lovely stepdaughter Alexis swept one off the kitchen counter cleaning up after a dinner together. She was horrified. I was overjoyed. I hollered, “YES!! I didn’t break the first one!”
Michael took out the second. Again, I was thrilled. But I knew my excitement and gratitude was short lived. There was no way I could drink from these delicate vessels without losing one.
And so I took out the third. And then began a family contest in which each of us struggled not to break, but broke, Mom’s crystal wine glasses. I’m pretty sure I ultimately won.
There’s a voice in my head, and I know it’s not my mother’s, that whispers to me in these moments, “We just can’t have nice things in this house.” It’s not Ethel’s voice, either. It’s probably a TV voice.
There’s another voice inside my head that says, “These glasses have been used. We enjoyed them. We celebrated time together with our family and friends with these glasses.”
I like that voice better. And as I think back on our final moments with Ethel before she slipped into unconsciousness at her nursing home and then left us some days later, I remember her last awed words to me: “Look at that sky.” Her appreciation of what was important and beautiful stayed with her right until the end. That’s a lesson worth learning.
There was a full dozen glasses when we began. I believe there are now four. They may stay with us for a while, or they may go. Their crystalline lives will most assuredly be lengthened by being packed away from us in a cool, undisturbed storage unit.
I hope we don’t break the last of them before we hit the road. But even if we do, I’m pretty sure Ethel will still be with me every time we sit in our camp chairs under a sunset-streaked sky, reminding me to look up from the plastic wine glass in my hand and cherish the unbreakable beauty all around us.
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I grew up in Virginia Beach, lived most of my adult life on the New England coast, and spent the last nine years on the Gulf of Mexico. But, it wasn't until last Monday did I live through the most frightful weather I have ever encountered and I was in our lake house in the middle of Northeast Georgia during the downgraded (really?) tropical storm Irma.
The worst of our damage was to our boat dock. Our newly painted home looks like it lost in a paintball fight, and the streets leaving our neighborhood (not that we can leave our neighborhood, at the moment) are covered with downed trees and electrical lines and poles. Safe to say, we won't have electricity for quite a while.
So, to keep this short and sweet due to my limited battery life and my all-thumb approach on my phone, here's all I have to say: The rum drinker in the house is not happy due to warm Diet Coke and no ice. I, on the other hand, am delighted – Cabernet Sauvignon is best served at room temperature!
Kyle Ann Robertson
Chief Writing Officer at Ifcorkscouldtalk.com and BBWalsh.com