I belong to a “wine-honoring” group of 5 gorgeous, prime of their life women, who meet a couple evenings a week. We call ourselves “THE 5 O'CLOCK SOMEWHEREs.” We meet at various watering holes for a sip and a chat. One particular evening, we were popping a cork to celebrate one of our funniest member’s birthdays in the outdoor seating area of a local restaurant.
Lots of laughing, whooping, and an occasional naughty word would grab the attention of passersby – all wondering who we are and no-doubt wishing they could join us, if not be us. After much carrying on, and with our laughter increasing in volume with each sip of wine, one of us noticed two young police officers coming our way.
Birthday Girl says, “I think we’re about to be arrested for causing a public disturbance.” She nods in the direction of the two uniformed hunks who could easily pass as one of our sons.
“Surprise, here come your birthday strippers!” I said in jest.
Birthday Girl, thrilled with anticipation, turned her chair to face the officers.
The two officers proceeded to pass us by, hands on hips and seemingly unaware of what I had said, as we nearly fell off our chairs laughing and hugging our bellies to keep from peeing our pants.
Birthday Girl could hardly contain herself. Very disappointed that they ignored us, she jumped out of her chair, marched over and stepped in front of the officers.
“Hi. It’s my birthday. Are you my strippers?”
“Ma'am, please take two steps back.” Officer Blonde held one hand out to stop her and placed his other hand on his holster.
“Show us both your hands,” Officer Brunette shouted, taking a wide stance.
Birthday Girl froze in place, arms in the air. Actually, we all froze in place and silence took over.
“Ahh, we’re just kidding.” Officer Blonde relaxed and smiled, waving to our table.
“Surprise! Happy Birthday,” Officer Burnette said as he reached up to bring Birthday Girl’s arms back down by her side. Apparently, this wasn’t the first time someone asked if they were strippers.
Even though we are at the age when we could be wearing Depends, no one had needed them before that day. Laughter is the best medicine when taken with good friends, even if it puts you in an embarrassing situation!
Kyle Ann Robertson
Retired, mother of four, grandmother of two, dog lover, yoga attempter, avid writer and wine drinker!